The Tripple Side of Things
by Carmal-Mocha-Bean
Summary: Leah got sick and now is a perfect human woman. Leah's Sam's and Jacob's point of veiw. Before, Durning and After settings.
1. Chapter 1

**Kinda wanted to right about Leah. **

**This story involves Leah's, Sam's, and Jacob's point of view. **

**Leah's Is after she is sick**

**Sam's is during**

**And Jacobs' is before.**

**LEA'S POINT OF VEIW. (After) **

It's a strange concept to grasp. I find it hard to grasp even though it happened to me, but it did so I have to move on from it. Yet I don't find it in me to do that. It only happened just a couple of days ago and people expect me to recover that fast. Sorry to inform them but I'm only human. Yes it is true; the great Leah Clearwater has magically turned back into a hateful hot, _human_ bitch. And I am damn proud of it! My body is reacting like a normal 18 year old girl again; I just started my period, I don't crave disgusting fat filled foods, my body is smaller, and I'm glad to report I can't win a single arm wrestling contest. Though I do have to admit, there is a little empty space in me that was filled with all of that stuff and I do miss running with the guys. But now I can flirt with the guys and not run with them. The only down side is I can't be by myself with out those annoying wolf men breathing down my neck or that vampire doctor studding me. You'd be annoyed too.

**SAM'S POINT OF VEIW (during)**

She got sick. Really sick. There wasn't a moment where she wasn't coughing or trembling with pain. It was hard for me to watch yet I had to. I know she was mean and cruel but she was one of us so she was apart of my family. It hurt to watch her become weaker and weaker while I couldn't do anything. If only I could say something to her then but I didn't find the right words. I wish I had.

The last time she was awake before the unthinkable happened was when we were all at Emily's house. She decided she would take of her until she got better. Mrs. Clearwater already had enough to deal with. I had to carry her there for she was too weak to walk. As I carried her I was shocked at how cold she was. She was a shape shifter so it was hard to get cold, but she was so cold I had to wrap her in two blankets before picking her up.

Leah was at her cousins for two weeks. When I came over I never saw her awake even though Emily told me she wakes up once or twice a day. I found that hard to believe.

So the last day we were all gathered around her. The leader of the vampire coven, the doctor, was there too. Emily was crying hysterically next to me pleading that Leah doesn't die. Inside I was hoping for the same thing. The rest of the guys were watching the doctor do his job nervously; it wasn't because they were worried about her. No, most of them didn't care what happened to her. They were scared that the same fate might happen to them. Only Seth, Jacob, Embry and I were terrified for her well being. With each quick movement the vampire did Leah jolted and screamed in pain. Emily looked away most of the time and I have to be honest, so did I. Several minutes into the vampire leader's check up he looked at all of us with tired eyes. The worst news came right from his mouth,

"I'm afraid Leah has lung cancer. At this point it had spread through her blood stream and now is traveling to her heart and brain. There is nothing I can do for her."

Emily fell to her knees, balling her eyes out. I had to make Jarred come and help her to her room. She didn't need to hear any more. Seth sat down hard on the ground putting his head in his hands. Jake wouldn't stop staring at her, his hands tightly balled into fits at his side.

I wiped a tear that I didn't know I shed and cleared my throat. "Are you positive that you can't do anything?"

He nodded his head grimly.

"Why? Why did this have to happen? I mean we can't get sick right?" Seth mumbled through his tears.

The doctor stood up. "It might have to do with the fact that she is the first female shape shifter. She has no one to help her out and her body was not trained or ready for this like yours." He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I can't be certain that, that is the cause for this, but it is probable." He walked over to me and placed a cold hand on my shoulder. I didn't shrug it off or even crinkle my brows. "I'm sorry. There is absolutely nothing I can do. The best thing to do is let her be around her family. If I would've died it would be surrounded by people that I loved and they loved me back."

He patted my shoulder and then headed for the door.

Just as he was about to leave Jacob spoke up. "What about the other way?"

It was too low for any normal person to hear but the vampire stopped and looked over to Jake. "And what might the other way be?"

Jacob clutched the couch and spoke through gritted teeth. "You know exactly what I'm talking about, Doc." He lifted his head. Tears were streaming down his face. "The cure for dying; the reason why you and your family are alive today! Bite her and let her be a blood sucking monster!"

The house went dead silent. Seth lifted his head and stared wide eyed at Jake. Quill and Embry did the same. As for Paul, Brady, Collin and I, well we just couldn't believe what he just said.

The doctor turned his head back around. "Do you think I have it in me to do that? No, I promised my self that I wouldn't do that to anyone ever again after Emmett."

"Fine! I'll have Edward do it, or even Bella! You just can't leave her to die." He looked away covering up his sobs with his arm.

"Shut up, Jacob. I'll never ever be one of those terds. Not even if they do bite me." Leah lifted her head and shot her famous deadly stare at him.

Seth flew to his feet and staggered to her side, taking her hand. "He was only helping. Carlisle gave the worst news. Y- You're g-going t-to…"

Paul cut him off. "Die. You're going to die in less then a week." His words were harsh and cut, but I saw the pain in his eyes that he was trying to mask.

Leah laid her back down, breathing heavily. A couple seconds passed before she spoke.

"I already knew that. I've known that since the day I started to cough. What I do want to know is what's killing me?" she sounded so small, like a lost child.

I stepped next to Seth looking down at her. "You have lung cancer. It's already spared through half of your system."

She closed her eyes and when she opened them they were red. "Just like dad." She barely talked above a whisper.

Seth nodded tears rolling down his face again. I looked away staring at the vampire who I thought left. He stood there like a statue; his brown slacks were the only thing ruffling as a gust of wind blew through the open window. It must've felt strange being in a stranger's house filled with were-wolves on were-wolf territory. I didn't know why he didn't leave. He was defiantly not welcomed here by the majority of this house hold and even though he knew that he still stayed. I was impressed by his bravery.

**LEAH'S POINT OF VEIW (after)**

My phone rang for the thousandths time in my purse. I looked at it then my eyes were back on the road. Didn't they know it was against the law to talk on the phone while driving? Guess not seeing that they didn't get the hint I was not going to answer! My god, those guys could be real jack asses some times. Just because I'm not macho lady doesn't mean I can't handle things for myself. They all came to the same conclusion that I was a weak pathetic human who can't even drive the simple 2 miles from work to home. Every where I went they had some one following me or checking up on me. I wanted to yell at them to let me be, and I would've too if I was the same twisted cruel Leah I was when I was a smelly wolf. But not any more! I have nothing to hold against anyone. I'm not mad or depressed so there for my bad attitude melted away. Ok, that's not all true. I am still a bitch, but like a regular teen girl bitch. I talk behind others back and I gossip about the hottest guys in school. Yup, I was totally back to normal.

The rain pelted my wind shield like a thousand bullets were hitting my car. The streets were bare except for the flock of men out side my cousins house, drenched from head to toe. I scoffed and ignored them as I pulled up to the drive way. Seth hurried to my car and yanked open the door, pulling me out side and into a giant hug.

"Leah! I'm glad that the storm didn't cause you to get into an accident." He yelled into my ear. Then he pulled away and looked into my eyes with a stern, dad like expression. "Why didn't you answer your phone?"

I rolled my eyes and tried to shove him away. "Because the law states that it is now illegal to talk on the phone while driving with out a hands free cellular devise. Unlike you guys I would like to be a good citizen and keep to the rules." I managed to squirm free from his hold and darted to the front door. The door was locked which was odd because Emily was always home. I looked over my shoulder at all the boys on the lawn.

"Hey, where did Emily go?" I shouted over the roaring rain.

They all shrugged. I sighed and wiggled the knob. Of course it won't open when I try the second time. A locked door will stay locked because it is hateful and stubborn and it also needs a key which I don't have. I groaned and kicked the door hard. The gang laughed as I limped down the steps. With a dangerous eye glare they shut up and continued on with their conversations. Seth was still by my car looking tired and curious. I pushed him aside and climbed back into my Escalate. He knocked on my window and gestured for me to open them. I did and he leaned in, shaking his head so that all of the water landed on the passenger seat.

I growled. "Seth! I know it may be hard but can you please not act like a dog for like 5 seconds?!"

He grinned and shook his head, this time not as hard. I looked closely at him, noticing that he had rings and bags under his eyes. He truly looked like the monsters he's friends with. Now, I'm not worried about him, I'm not the person who worries, but just looking into his eyes gave me chills. He has grown up so much since my dad died and since he became a furry creature. That's what worried me.

"Hey, when was the last time you got a few zz's?" the rain flew in the open window so I asked through my jacket covering half my face.

He shrugged. "I donno; maybe Monday. But I don't really care. I'm not tired at all." He shrugged again.

"Yeah well you look fucked up." I looked behind him and saw that Jarred and Paul had left so Quill, Embry, Collin, and Brady were the only one's left. I didn't notice then but I realized Sam and Jacob weren't there in the first place. Not that it mattered if they were there or not but it was strange for everyone else to be here and not them. And another thing, why were they here? I mean I understand Seth being here, or Jacob, or Sam, but not the whole f-ing gang. I looked back at Seth to see he was looking behind himself too.

"Hey, where did Jarred and Paul go? And where are Sam and Jake?" he didn't look at me or respond. "Hello?!?!?!" I grabbed his chin and jerked it so he was looking at me. "Listen to me while I speak. Where are the others?"

He blinked several times finally seeing me. "Huh?"

I rolled my eyes and sat back in my seat putting my hands on the wheel. "You need some sleep. Get in, I'll drive you home." He hesitated. I narrowed my eyes and sneered. "What, do you need me to open the damn door? Get in now!"

He didn't open the door but instead he climbed through the window. I yelped and cursed as his freakishly long legs hit me all over. When he was settled in his seat I glared at him one last time and drove off, leaving the four pissed off wolves behind.

**JACOB'S POINT OF VEIW (before)**

God Damn Her!!! She had no freaking right to just run away like a little girl! Sure she hated my guts, and sure she was sooo unhappy being herself but she cant change who she is or who I am. I _told _her she was going to be unhappy in my pack. I_ told_ her she would want to rejoin Sam's, but she didn't listen. No, she couldn't stand watching her _ex_-lover go all lovey dovey with her cousin. It's not my problem! I could care less of her female mind and all of the crap she thinks of. It's better for her to just be human again and leave us all alone. I followed the path she took which led all the way back to the first beach. I changed back into my human form and jogged the rest of the way. I guess it wasn't her fault for being this way. I would have to say it was either Sam's or God's. I know she blames Sam but it wasn't his fault for imprinting with her cousin. She has no right to point the finger at him, but preferably at the big guy calling all of the shots up stairs.

I checked the local spot on the first beach first, but there was no sign of her. I then went to the crowned tourist section, she probably thought she could loose me in the crowd, and just like the local spot no where to be seen.

I hung out on the beach for a while, listening to the whines of the little kids wanting to go in the water and the firm 'no's' form the parents. I sat on the drift wood piece and watched the sun sink into the water. Sitting there, on _our_ spot, stung like hell but I learned to ignore the pain and over look it. She was one of them now and I can't do anything about it. Sure it would be nice to go over there and rip them all apart and set fire to them but I do have to say they kinda grew on me. Not in a sickly way, like I would die for them, but a way that I cant harm them ever. We went through a lot with Bella being pregnant and then the _thing_ dying in child birth, if you can call it that. I guess they thought I was a part of their nasty family now. Strange enough, I can't say that I'm not.

Like I said, they sorta grew on me.

The sound of the waves breaking mixed with the pounding of foot steps brought me out of the past. It had grown dark and windy, the annoying kids and the stressed out parents were long gone. The only ones left on the beach were me and Seth.

He was gasping for breath like he just ran a marathon in under a second. Maybe he did. I got up from the log and stuffed my hands in my cut off jean's pockets, the only thing I was wearing. The cold wind wiped across my bare chest feeling great on my hot skin. Seth was wearing long jeans as well and a hoody. I thought he must have gone back home and then run all the way here in his human form. Why he would put on a zipper less sweater, I do not know.

"Hey, Seth. Any sign of your sister?" I looked towards the black ocean, not caring what he would say.

He continued to pant. When he got his breathing under control he said, "Yeah, she's at home. She said she was completely done with the whole changing." He strode up next to me flicking a rock towards the water. "I think she means it this time."

He sounded worried. I looked down at him; his face was unusually pulled into a mask of a man and not a stupid reckless boy. Was he starting to age? Impossible, he was still making the changes. But then again, in the world I live in, nothing is impossible.

I shrugged and picked up a rock, flicking it as well. "I don't care. She always wanted to become normal again. I say she should do it. It's so annoying listening to her freaking depressed mind. It would be a better world if she would be just a regular girl"

"Yeah but bro, you didn't see her. She's really messed up. What did you do to her?"

I stopped mid-way from picking up another rock. It's not what I did to her; it's more of what I saw….

We were in front of the Cullens house, watching out to see if they were all abiding to the treaty. I trusted them completely but Leah still didn't see eye to eye with them. Both of us were in our wolf forms and hiding out in the shade of a spruce tree a hundred feet away from their house. Leah let out a yawn showing her teeth.

_Oh look, I think I saw him move._ Leah thought sarcastically. _C'mon Jake. They're so boring. They do nothing except for mope around all day and Bella isn't even acting like a new born. All she does is sit around and stare. I bet she hasn't been on her first hunting trip yet._

I mentally rolled my eyes. She was so annoying. I could've come alone but she just had to tag along. Even Seth and Quill had to bail on me. They're such great pack members, leaving me here with Mrs. PMS All the Time.

She growled. _You know, your not my first pick either. If I had to choose between the little goblin form 'Lord of the Rings' and you, I would pick the goblin. _

_Feeling's mutual,_ I sneered.

It was silent for a while. Leah kept her thoughts to her self, though I still heard them. As for me, well I just sat there listening to the wind and the voices it carried. I heard the beach dwellers complaining about how the surf was too flat, and the snack bar selling nachos to some snobby tourist. It was good for me not to think about what I was actually doing. My heart was still broken so I didn't want it to break even more by watching her live her new life with out me. Just then Leah stirred and jumped to her feet.

_Jake, look, _she pointed with her nose.

I looked the way she was directing and saw Bella and Edward leave the house. They were going into the woods at about the same speed as a cougar.

I stood up to, following them with my eyes.

Leah started to pace. _Should we follow them?_

I shook my head_ No, they're probably going to hunt. If they stay away from the humans and out of our territory then they're fine._

_Please, you just don't want to hurt Bella. _

I whipped my head to look at her. It's not what she said that made my skin crawl, it's the way she said it. Unlike normal, her voice was soft and sad and defeated. The thought came out as a whisper.

She noticed that I actually heard her and she tried to brush it away like it was nothing. _I'm just saying. You have to get over her. She's a fucking leech and married to the 'oh so dreamy' blood sucker, which may, I remind you, had sex with her and got her pregnant. Not to mention, changed her into one of _them_. But you just can't see that._

I snarled. _Shut up Leah! _I used my alpha voice and made what I thought a demand that she had to obey. I promised I wouldn't use that kind of power unless it was an emergency.

She winced and sat back down. I smiled loving the power to put Leah in her place. She thought up a thousand ways to kill me but I ignored them. I sat down again and enjoyed the perfect cloudy day.

Just before I was going to call it quits I saw Leah's dream. She was soundly sleeping and twitching. I blocked off what she dreamt of most of the time but this one had to deal with me. Not the killing, "oh I hate him" dreams, but a nice romantic dream.

She thought up a beach and her and I were holding hands swinging them back and forth. She smiled up at me and winked. I nearly gagged but the dream me winked back and carcassed her cheek.

"_You're the most beautiful girl in the world."_ Dream me said.

Dream Leah smiled and blushed. She looked kinda cute when she blushed and apparently the dream me thought the same. Dream me bent down as if to kiss her but stopped short.

"_You don't still love that ugly Bella, do you?"_ Dream Leah asked.

Dream me smiled. "_No way honey. She's dead to me now."_

Then there were lips on lips and tongue on tongue action. I snorted and yelped which caused Leah to wake up. She looked around with wild eyes finding no danger. Then she tuned into my thoughts and found out that I was listening in to her dream.

She stared wide at me at first then made a mad dash away.

* * *

_I can't ignore this horrible feeling-_ **A line from the next chapter**

**Please Reveiw**


	2. Chapter 2

**LEAH'S POINT OF VEIW**

As I pulled up to my house, Seth was already out. The drive way was empty for the first time in a long time and all the lights in the house were off. If you were a stranger and you came up to my house when it was dark and rainy out you would probably high tail it out of there and maybe go to the beach or a crappy hotel. Some where it doesn't look like the house might come to life and eat you right there and then. But seeing that I was no stranger I got out of my pricey car and went around to the passenger's side. Like I said Seth was so out that when I opened the door and he fell out, he didn't so much as shudder. I thought about leaving him on the floor, maybe the wind could carry him away, but thought about mom having a huge bitchy fit about it. So I dug through my purse and found a stash of beef jerky I always carry with me. I waved it under his nose, wondering if this trick really works or if it's just a Hollywood gimmick. Turned out it did actually work which didn't surprise me because Seth would jump off a cliff for this stuff. He groaned and reached for the jerky.

"Nuh-uh." I held it away form him. "You have to get up and come inside if you want some. I'm not dragging your fat ass."

He grumbled something about how I was a lousy big sister but I didn't pay that much attention. I hoped that the door was unlocked and if it wasn't then I would have to go to Billy's and ask him where the hell is everyone. I have nothing against Bill but he is so old that he makes Jonny Dept look young and that scares me. As Seth got up I made my way to the porch. I was surprised to see that a note was taped on the front with my cousins hand writing.

All at Jake's.

Come over right when you read this.

P.S. Aunty says to make sure the casseroles are pre-heated at 140 degrees.

She won't get home 'til late

love ya, Em.

I ripped the note off and crinkled it in my hands. This sucks majorly. All I wanted to do today was drop something off at Emily's then come home, take a bath, text that new hot guy at school, and finish my home work. I wasn't expecting to be dragged around and be included in business that I shouldn't be included in anymore.

Seth came up behind me. "Door lock?" his voice was heavy with sleep.

I wiggled the knob. It turned all the way around but I didn't open the door. "Nope. C'mon, we have a meeting to attend."

**SAM'S POINT OF VEIW**

"So it's true then, I'm really going to die?" Leah's voice pierced through the quiet.

No one answered her. Who could tell a young girl that she wouldn't live long enough to get married or go to her senior prom? I always wanted to have the courage and coolness of a doctor for this kind of stuff. I wondered mindlessly if it was too late to go to collage and actually get my degree to become a doctor.

Leah sighed. "You know I already know the answer. I just want to hear it from someone else to make in final." She was almost whispering and her tone was soft. I couldn't remember a time when used that voice

Paul got up stretching his arms over his head. He looked at the back room where Jarred and Emily escaped. "I'm gonna check up on Jarred." He looked at Leah for the first time today with soft worried eyes. "I don't know that much about this kind of stuff but to be honest you don't look good. I think you wont make it through the week…" he cut off and turned abruptly. He ran through the hall and into Em's room.

Jake sat heavily on the floor folding his arms across his chest, leaning his head against the couch. He looked up at Leah. "Paul is too stupid to even remember his name. Don't worry, you'll pull through this." He gave her limp hand a squeeze.

There was a coughing fit from her. Her eyes closed as she stopped and I wondered if they would ever open again. Everyone instantly became tense. We all thought the same thing, is this it? Instantly I felt stupid for thinking that. Of course it wasn't it. She was still breathing, even though it was ragged and short. She was defiantly strong.

Her eyes flew open and she started to shake. "S-so cold." Her lips turned blue

Seth grabbed the blanket that was rapped around her but it fell on the floor while the doctor was inspecting her. He laid it on her again. "You won't die. Mom will kill you if you do." His words didn't have the usual light hint.

"Y-yeah, and she'll kill you next if you don't bring up your grades." She grinned at him then winced.

My temper began to flare. For some reason my hands started to shake and my body trembled. I thought I learned how to control myself. I thought because of I what I did to Emily I trained my anger and subdued it. But as I saw Leah lying there, dying, and seeing all the pain she's causing us…well it was royally pissing me off. My vision became blurry and all the rational thoughts I had flown right out. The last thing that I thought was I had to get out…

**JACOB'S POINT OF VEIW**

Seth stared at me blankly. The lines that made him look older vanished replaced by a wave of confusion. I avoided his eyes and picked up another rock, flicking it a good 100 meters. Some how I knew he wouldn't believe what I told him, about Leah's dream, and yet I still explained it to him. _He's a kid_, I thought, _of course he wouldn't understand_. Hell, I don't understand myself! What goes through a chick's mind is beyond my understanding. Still, I couldn't shake the feeling that maybe that wasn't just a dream. Maybe there was something deeper to it. I shook me head. No, it was just a dream caused by heat and starvation and that's all it would ever be.

I side glanced at Seth. He stopped gaping at me and averted his eyes to the misty sea.

I sighed stuffing my hands in my pockets. "Listen, don't over think it. It was probably just some stupid dream she had no control of. I've had a dream that I made out with a banana, do you think I want to do that?" he didn't say anything so I carried on. "If she wants to stop changing that's alright with me. I don't think she'll master it though. Sam hasn't even mastered it and he's calmer then any of us. I don't know why you're so worried about this."

He sat down on the drift wood with a sigh. I sat down next to him trying to block the pain that was creeping over me. The last person I sat on this thing with was my only love…

"I'm not worried about her, man. It's just, I don't know. Something weird is going on with her and I have no idea what it is." He put his head in his hands.

This isn't right. Since when did he ever have concerns for his sister? The last time I saw him talking to her is when he was sticking out his wolf tongue, thinking how annoying she is. Now, it's like he's her father. Maybe this is a dream

He lifted his head, staring at nothing. "You should go talk to her. Make her listen to you. Make her see that if she stops changing it won't end up well."

I looked at him as if he just said he could sprout wings and breathe fire. "Have you been sniffing sharpies again?" I got up and started walking away.

He was right behind me in an instant. "C'mon Jake. I have a gut feeling about this. Just use your alpha wolf voice thing and demand her to keep making the changes."

I ignored him walking swiftly to the calm road.

He kept up with me easily. "I would talk to her if I could but she only listens to you! Even when you're not in wolf form. Please Jake! I can't ignore this horrible feeling."

I spun around becoming increasingly annoyed. "Leah doesn't listen to anyone. You should know that by now."

"She listens to you!" he gave me those huge eyes he thinks people can't resist. I turned back around and continued walking.

He continued to follow. "What could I do to make you talk to her?"

"Stop following me." I whispered. I stopped at the end of the beach looking both ways before stepping on the deserted road. My pace became quicker as I made my way across and into the dense woods. I thought about changing but decided not to. Seth would change right after me and I wasn't in the mood to hear all of his whines.

He was next to me trying to stop me but I kept on moving. "It's a gut feeling. I'm positive about this. Please Jacob."

"You were also positive that I was going to adore the thing inside Bella. Look how that turned out." I made a sharp turn, heading to the opposite road.

"That's because it, I mean she, died in child birth. If she lived I bet you anything that you would love her like a brother loves his sister."

That made me stop. I keep forgetting that Leah and Seth were siblings. I mean they practically hated each other. I always thought that Leah doesn't give a danm about Seth and the same thing with Seth. But they were bother and sister so there for they do, actually, love each other. It does make sense that he was having this "feeling" about her. He loves Leah and wants to make sure nothing bad happens to her, even though it might make her kick his ass and mine to. Yesh, I'm glad I'm not that protecting over my sisters.

He stopped next to me, eyes pleading. I guess it wouldn't hurt to say something to Leah.

"Alright, fine. I'll talk to her. But I'm warning you, I might not be able to get through to her in a clam manner. So if you hear yelling or maybe even things breaking don't be alarmed."

He smiled widely. "Thanks Jake. You know, you are an awesome leader."

I shrugged and started heading for Seth's house for an awkward conversation with the one person who makes me my puke a little every time I see her.

* * *

_When things go wrong, dont try to be the hero and fix it_- **A little preveiw of the next chapter. (I know it's not a preveiw but it leaves you thinking.) =)**

**Please Reveiw. **


	3. Chapter 3

**THIS CHAP IS ONLY IN LEAH'S POV**

**NEXT ONE WILL BE DIFFERENT**

It had stopped raining as I pulled up to the small shack that Jacob calls home. Seth was awake this time, barely, and kept asking what this was all about. I tried to tell him I knew as much as him but he just went on talking and figuring out why they haven't included him in the first place. I eventually tuned him out, and went to fixing my damp hair in the sun shade mirror. I tired to part it to one side so not so much frizz would show but that ended up making it look like I have a cow lick, so I just brushed the knots out with my fingers and left like that. My make up was another thing. Black eyeliner ran down my cheeks mixing in with my blush. I hurried, grabbing a napkin stored in my dash bored and tried rubbing off the clown look.

"Crap", I cursed realizing that my efforts were making matters worse. From the corner of my eye I saw Seth staring at me, amused. "What?" I sneered still wiping my face.

He shook his head. "I don't understand girls. It's just Billy and the rest of the gang. There's no one in there that hasn't seen you in a much worse state. So why even try?"

I didn't answer him, focusing hard on getting rid of the dreadful make up. That was an excellent question that I couldn't answer truthfully to him or even myself for that matter. I felt like I had to impress those people in there no matter what for some reason. No, that wasn't right. I didn't want to impress all of them, just a certain two. I cursed inwardly for the stupid flutter in my heart as I thought of the two in there. Why did I care enough to try to make myself look good to them? I didn't, I kept thinking but lying wasn't working. The truth was that I cared immensely on what they thought about me and how I looked to them. I could admit that while staring steadily at myself in the mirror but what I couldn't bring myself to admit was why.

Sighing, I tossed the napkin aside, giving up at perfecting my damage look. I grabbed my purse and unlocked the car so Seth and I could get out. My heart wouldn't stop pounding with every step I took that brought me closer to the house. At the door, my breathing came through fast and uneven. I stopped mid way from knocking. My hand wouldn't make contact with the wood no matter how much I reassured it that there was nothing special at the other end. It didn't believe me and continued to just hover in a fist.

"You ok?" Seth asked behind me.

I nodded briskly. _Lair_, I thought.

I heard him sigh and then his hand was the one to knock loudly on the door.

"Geez, if I didn't know better I would have thought you were having a panic attack." His tone was joking but, looking back, his eyes were filled with concern.

I scoffed lowering my hand. "Don't get excited."

We heard the handle wiggle and then turned all the way. I braced myself to see who I hoped didn't open the door. Luckily, Billy was the one to greet us. He smiled up at us his wheel chair stopping the door from closing.

"We thought you weren't going to come." He moved out of the way so we can get through.

Seth yawned stretching his arms. "Sorry Billy. Leah thought she was going to prom or something. She was fixing herself in the car."

I didn't say anything, barely noticing that he even spoke. I scanned the room from left to right and vice versa. It was small so it didn't take me long to figure out who was there and who was not. Sitting on the couch in the small living room was Emily and my mom; there was no one in the kitchen or the hall way to get to the rooms in back. I didn't know if I felt relieved or disappointed.

Billy rolled in the kitchen stopping at the fridge. "You two hungry or thirsty? I've got left over meatloaf or pizza and there's lemonade or water."

Seth was about to except the offer but I stopped him. "No. Thanks Bill but we've got casseroles waiting at home."

He only shrugged and rolled back into the living room.

Seth and I followed squishing in with all the bodies that took up the space. Emily patted the little room between her and my mom for me. I sat down next to them still glancing around expecting one of _them_ to pop out of no where. No one came out of the shadows or walked through the door. I forced my eyes to stay in one spot in front of me, staring out the window. Billy put himself in front of every one looking important and respectably old. My mind was on other things and I tried to calm it so I can listen to what Bill had to say.

"There are many things we need to go over for tonight," Billy cleared his throat then carried on. "First is the two pack issue we have going on."

Seth propped his head up with one had as he sat criss cross in front of me. "Issue? I don't think it's that big of a deal. So there are two packs, so what?"

I kicked him lightly to shut him up. I was trying hard not to say anything too. I didn't think it was a big deal either but I was tired and if I started to talk then other nasty things would come out. In Bill's house, I liked to be quite and respectable. He was old and I felt bad for him.

Emily spoke up next to me. "I agree with Billy. There can not be two packs in one small area. Sooner or later there will be a fight."

I groaned silently. They've been arguing about this for two weeks now and it's always the same thing. It was getting old quickly and my annoyance level was thinning.

"Sam and Jake haven't gotten into an argument or anything. Why can't the two packs just stay here?" I heard the worry in Seth's voice. He knew if Jake had to leave then he'd have to go with him and leave us all behind. But if Sam went then he'll lose brothers and friends.

I raised my hand stupidly but spoke before being acknowledged. "Um yeah, why the hell am I here?"

I didn't ask in the first place because I was respecting Billy and because I didn't want my mom to start something. But I was tired and I wanted to get out of there before _they_ came in.

My mom shot me a warning glance but I ignored it. I didn't need to be included in problems that I left two weeks ago.

Billy smiled. "Because you have something for Emily, don't you?"

I remembered why I went to Emily's in the first place….I opened my purse, digging through all the junk. I cought a look at my phone and saw that I had 5 unread text messages; 2 from my friend Brit and the others form the new hot guy. I wanted to reply and get lost in our own high school world; get involved in the problems and drama that it held. I needed to stop thinking or expecting things that were forbidden to think about or want, but for now it had to wait. Finally I saw the off white envelope with pretty hand writing and an English stamp in the corner. Curiosity consumed me then; I wanted to know what the contents were and who was writing to her. It was not my place to open it though so I handed it over. She stiffly took it and put in her own purse; no thank you or a smile.

My irritability grew. She's been like this since I was changed. It annoyed the fuck outa me but I didn't press it on because I knew how much she was hurting….

I looked back at Billy steadily. "Can I leave now?"

Before he could answer the door opened and two footsteps came in

"Aw, don't go. I promise it'll get good."

I froze completely. My heart skipped 5 beats; I counted, and then continued faster. _Danm_, I thought, _too late_. My heart told me to look back and see those eyes, that hair, that tanned skin, but my mind firmly told me to keep staring at Billy. I listened to my mind for once. As they came closer and I cought a whiff of their smells together my chest grew tighter and my breath cought in my throat.

"Even if you don't believe it, we do need your insight and positive thinking." Jacob came to stand next to Billy, resting his hand on his dad's shoulder. His tone had been sarcastic, light and joking even. Usually his tone was serious and monotone, hiding all of his emotions. I never understood that before, I thought he was always going to be boring and harsh. But I now understand because I do it too.

Billy looked up at his son and smiled. "Hungry? Leftovers in the fridge."

"You don't have to tell us twice." In a few steps he was already in the kitchen blowing past Em and I.

I held my breath so not to show any sign of trying to catch it. As he walked by, his elbow brushed my arm, lightly, barely noticeable, but I noticed. A cold shiver ran through me that was both clod and extremely hot. I wondered if he felt it too but he kept on walking not stopping or even looking my way. I tried not to be offended by that.

"You cannot leave yet, Leah. We have much to talk about with you." The deep sweet voice rang in from behind me.

Emily stiffened next to me her eyes narrowing. His voice didn't effect me as mush as Jake's but my heart still skipped. I looked up at Sam's big brown eyes, smiling slightly. When facing Sam I was braver then when I was facing Jacob, only because he had broke my heart once. What harm was a second time? I didn't say anything to him, knowing Em was in enough pain. He patted my head and joined in with Jake at raiding the fridge.

Bill wheeled himself next the arm chair that was placed next to the window, staring out of it. "Paul is not with you?"

"Luckily. We told him to keep watch for another hour. He'll probably come back sooner though." Jake stated with disdain.

Since Paul imprinted with Jake's sister he never stopped coming over. We all thought he would stop when she went back to school but to our misery he kept coming. I was only annoyed because Jacob was which shouldn't even matter.

"So what's the report?" Billy asked still staring out the window.

Sam came to sit next to Seth, who was snoring soundly, with a bottle of water in his hands. "Nothing unusual; some new vampire tracks far north but they were stale. Probably smelt the Cullens and turned to go else where." He opened the bottle and took a huge gulp from it.

"Yeah, we were gonna follow but thought it was pointless. Besides there's a baseball game on tonight that I don't wanna miss." Jake closed the microwave and punched in the time. The hum filled the room sounding like it was gonna break. With that he came and stood next to Em. _So close_ I thought, _he's so close…._

The meeting went on with less important news. The fact was I didn't need to be there but I couldn't find it to leave. I thought of excuses to use to get out of there, _I have school the next day, homework, I smell like a dudes ass crack_, but every time I tried to voice these, I saw Sam and Jake. As it grew later and later I finally insisted I had to go. Billy told me that Seth could crash there so I didn't have to worry 'bout waking him and my mom was going to be there 'til later so only me and Em walked out. The cool air washed on my face as we stepped outside. It felt great after being in a stuffy house with people suffocating me. I looked at Emily to see if she felt the same way but her face told me she was not in the mood to chit chat. She started to walk away, towards the empty road, by herself.

My instincts told me to walk away too and drive home but my heart reached out towards her. I mean it wasn't her fault for her behavior, but then again it wasn't mine either.

"Wait, Em, I can give you a ride."

She stopped and half turned towards me, "I'm not some helpless girl. I can walk to my house without help, thank you."

Anger flushed me and it took me a lot not to start a full on cuss war. "Look, I'm truly sorry about what happened. It was unfair and unjust but it happened so you have to deal with it and not drive others away form you." I took a step closer but she took one back

"Just stay out of it Leah," she started walking away again.

I rushed forward and grabbed her arm stopping her. "Hey, I'm just trying to help! I've been trying to help for two weeks now but you won't let me. Please, Em, I'm begging you let me help."

Her eyes turned ice cold. "That's your problem, every time there's a problem you automatically think that you can help and fix every thing. You don't even stop to think that maybe the person doesn't want any help; that maybe they just want to be left alone for some time," she moved closer becoming intimidating. "When things so wrong don't try to be the hero and fix them. You are not a hero and you will never be so stop acting like it." She tugged her arm out of my grip and walked off in the black and dismay.

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_Danm, shit, fuck, crap!_**- preveiw**

**REVEIW**


	4. Chapter 4

**SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG! I NEEDED TIME TO THINK**

**WELL HERE IT IS!**

**JACOBS POV (BEFORE)**

* * *

Oh

My

God.

I have never really been in Seth's house. I've been in the back yard for Harry's funeral service but that's about it. It was mainly because Seth's mom was so freaked about people ruining her furniture and getting mud on the carpet. Seth couldn't even go in unless he was spotless, so most of the time he would just crash at my place. I thought it was an OCD thing but I soon found out it was way worse

I've only been to church a few times when mom was a round. After she died we kind of fell out of the routine of going every Sunday. We never liked it any way and there wasn't anything new to learn about the Holly Father. I still remember what church looked liked and how it felt to be in a chapel; crosses every where along with pictures of Jesus and the last supper and you felt very uncomfortable because you were watching what you said and what you did. That's the main reason I never went again. I hated watching what I had to say.

Walking into Seth's house was like a flash back from when I went to church. I first noticed the strange tightness in my stomach then I saw the painting. Huge life like painting of Jesus, standing in front of a tree, with mountains and rivers behind him, and the sun above him making him glow. You knew right away it was Jesus 'cause of the typical beard and rags the Catholic people picture him with. It was placed right above the fire mantel in the main room which is around the corner when you walk in. My stomach knotted at the sight of it.

Seth must have seen my expression. "Yeah, mom's kind of a religion nut. I guess it's her new hobby or something since dad died. I gotta warn ya, it gets worse." Seth sounded sheepish, turning pink on his cheeks.

I shrugged trying to brush off the nausea. "No problem. It's not like crosses burn me or anything." I almost laughed at the irony. Crosses won't do anything to _me_, but to a certain coven down the way it should burn them down to ashes. "Just hope you don't have sliver bullets."

Seth cracked a smile. We headed through the kitchen and up the stairs to Leah's room. I averted my eyes to the floor while walking through the house. Crosses and pictures and lines from the bible covered the walls making my stomach churn more heavily. I didn't like the feeling in my gut but couldn't do anything about it. I didn't blame Set either. It wasn't his fault his mom went crazy after her husband died, nor was it his fault I get sick at the sight of one cross. Walking through the Clearwater's house made me realize how unattached I became to my religion. The realization wasn't strong enough to go back to services but maybe to rethink the whole every thing that is holy is deadly thing.

Seth stopped at a closed door, music blaring from the other side, which was the only thing that seemed normal in the house.

"She's in there." He nodded towards the door.

I glared at him. He was close to me popping him on the head but I knew he wanted this to be over with just as much as I wanted it to be. I took a breath and banged on the door.

"I told you to leave me alone, mom!" Leah's voice rang over the music.

I smiled lightly. She's such a bitch. "You never told me." I didn't have to yell over the music, she could hear me just fine.

A few seconds later the music died down. The door opened a crack with a bitter profile staring me down. "What the hell are you doing here?"

I glanced at Seth briefly then shrugged. "You looked kind of troubled. Thought I can help sort out something."

"Oh you know perfectly well what I want you to do, you big ass…" she stopped herself. She took long even breaths, trying to calm her anger before it took over. I noticed her hands shaking by her side, only subsiding when she calmed down. "Look, Jacob, I don't want to talk, ok? I just wanna be left alone for a while, to have _all_ my thoughts to myself. You understand, right?"

I did fully understand. I had the same issue last year when everything went into chaos. No where was safe for me to have all of my thoughts to myself and that's what I needed the most; privacy. Every where I turned I found myself being prodded in the head; weather it was my dad or the pack. The only solution was to get away, far away, and become one with my other half. I thought it was the best thing at the time but I soon found out that the longer I stayed detached the more animal I became. I mean, I didn't mind the hunting and the short to the point thoughts but what I did mind was the coarse hardship of the lonely nights; and the fact that when I did face my problems they seemed to have grown bigger. Leah is a tough chick; she has to be to put up with the rest of the pack. I just don't want her to figure out that being completely alone to herself is not the best solution. She needed to, dare I say it, talk to someone about her feelings and thoughts. I groaned because I realized that I was gonna be the person to listen.

She was waiting for me to leave but I stayed put. I could tell by the deadly silence that my life was hanging by threads and I was just standing there, practically mocking death…..figuratively.

She got the point that I wasn't leaving. She rolled her eyes and flung the door open. I didn't need any more of an invitation.

Her room…..oh God her room was worse then the rest of the house. Not a single cross or bible verse in sight, that was the plus, but my stomach did not ease one bit. You would think because she was a teen girl there would be posters of the latest heart throb covering her walls and make up lining her desk and dresser. But as usual, Leah has to be difficult and do the complete opposite. Instead of the heart throb on her walls pictures of distorted animals and people covered in grotesque bloody slime filled the white plywood. Her dresser held stuff animals with body parts missing; a teddy bear with one eye, a rabbit with out his other ear and a wolf that looked like it had been burned, cut, and beaten with a bat. That one was facing the other way then the others so you couldn't see its face. (Another twist in my gut.) I walked in further and saw more disturbing pictures but they were of her and her family. A framed family portrait sat peacefully at the edge of the desk, the glass cracked and the frame bent. Looking closer I saw that she scratched out herself, Seth, and Harry. The only persons left were her mom and Emily standing next to blank spots. A chill ran through me as if the cold affected me. This was no room, this was Hell surfacing. Suddenly I missed the crosses.

"Not into dark culture? It's hot in Europe; they call it 'Reborn into the Dark Times.'"

Leah sneered in a heavy voice. She flopped on the mattress by the only window in the room. "This is why I don't have friends over."

Funny, I would've thought it was because her mom's obsession to the Lord, or the fact she doesn't have any friends. Not anymore at least.

I picked up the photo frame and held it out to Leah. "Why?"

She glanced at it then quickly looked away. "Why what? Why is the glass broken or why did I scratch out Harry, Seth, and myself?"

I looked at her pointedly.

She sighed and sat up straighter. "Because it seemed right to erase my dad, Seth, and myself."

"What do you mean?" I sat against the desk crossing my legs.

"You know how we probably wont be able to die and whatever because we'll live forever if we keep changing?"

I noded

"In the bible it says that only the damned can live forever so I figured if Seth and I are damned then we're not really apart of this family. So I crossed out the people that are gone, leaving only my mom and Emily."

I just stared at her taking in what she had said. This chick is seriously screwed up. I mean I see where's she's coming from, I kinda feel that way sometimes, but she takes it to a new level. I would never think about being damned and then saying half of your family is the same. Seth was right, Leah does need some help, I just don't know if I can help her.

The minutes droned on in silence. I tossed the picture aside not worrying about her fleeting sanity and settled down on the ground, resting my head on my arms and stretched out my legs. The sun out side her window was low and setting quickly. It reminded me how much sleep I've gotten which calculates to zero. I haven't gotten a wink of sleep since the other day. I'm weighted down with exhaustion; I swear I couldn't even think about lifting my leg without hurting. All I wanted was to crawl into bed and slip into a complete disturbance free sleep. But I couldn't, not until this whole thing with Leah is resolved. I could tell she wanted to sleep to, or be left alone to her fucked up room, and I was happy to oblige.

"Listen Leah," I let out a yawn "I don't want to be here and you don't want me here. So just say what I need you to say so Seth can get off my back." I meant it was a smart ass joke but the look on her face said she took it differently.

Her face holds a mixture of pain and defeat. "How do you know I don't want you here?"

I shrug avoiding her eyes. She was scaring me, looking like a lost puppy. I've never seen her vulnerable, she always had this guard up protecting her inner emotions with a tough, don't-give-a-shit attitude. For the first time since we all became aware of the were- wolf thing I saw who she truly was, a hurt defensive less girl who desperately needed someone to confide in. I cursed inwardly for realizing I practically volunteered for being that person.

"You know what, fuck it. I want you out now, Jacob." She climbs over me and stands by the door. So much for her guard being down.

I make a big show of trying to get up but in the end flop back down with exaggerated frustration. "Aw wish I can but looks like I'm fresh out of gas." Truth be told I had enough strength to get up and walk to Seth's room to catch a few Zz's but seeing how confused and lost Leah is made me want try to help out. What kind of leader would I be if I'm not sensitive about my packs feelings?

Leah knew I was lying, obviously, and starts to get upset. Her hands start shaking by her side even though she tried hard to hide it. I needed her to calm down.

I pat her bed "Come here and let's talk, seriously. I want to know what's going on. I'm being honest."

Something gleamed in her eye and then vanished. She throws up her hands. "You wanna talk? Fine," she plops back on her bed "lets talk."

We end up just staring at each other. I wasn't sure how to begin. I'm not at all good with this kind of stuff. Never really been the go to guy for a huge touchy, touchy talk. I give it short and to the point so maybe that's how I should handle this. But it's not me who starts up.

"You shouldn't bother even trying to talk to me or understand me. You have no idea what I'm going through."

Typical teen girl angst; thinking no one has gone through hard times. I just roll my eyes. "Like I don't know how losing a parent feels or getting set up into shit you don't want to be involved in, or losing the only love of your life. Yeah, Leah, you're the only one going through shit and no one gets it." I started to get aggravated. Listening to Leah made me think of my life which I've been avoiding since my mom died. I realized that I run away from my issues. Shit, I'm probably more fucked up then her. I know I am so listening to this pisses me off.

She's pissed off too. "Don't give me that shit. I know you've gone through a lot but I'm not you. I don't deal like you. I'm trying to do what you do, block it off and ignore it but it's not fucking working! I'm trapped Jacob, walled in. I can't get out" Tears are starting to form. Crap not what I wanted. My defenses went down and I started to feel sympathy.

I sigh. "Okay, okay calm down. I don't want you to start crying."

It doesn't work. Her tears spilled over and she had to grab a tissue to whip them away.

I'm worried. I'm actually worried about her. I haul myself off the ground and sit next to her on the bed. Not close enough to feel awkward but enough so she knows I'm gonna be there for her.

She blows her nose in the tissue and tossed it aside. "That's not even the worst part." She puts her head in her hands.

Great, I thought but quickly stop. I'm being supportive. I attentively pat her on her shoulder not know how she would react to this gesture. She's so vulnerable that she didn't push me away. "It's not that bad." I said trying not to sound like a parent. I figure that I do. "Okay it's pretty screwed up."

She managed a laugh. "Tell me about." She looked up me; her puffing red eyes looked innocent and confused. I didn't know why but I liked her looking like this. It stirred something inside me that I haven't felt in a while. I looked back at her hazel eyes forgetting how I can't stand her and thinking how tempting she looks. What? How tempting she looks? What am I thinking? I never thought that about someone, not even Bella. I never thought of Bella as someone to have sex with or any of that; just someone to love. But Leah made me feel like that, just for a bit until I snapped out of it. That's dangerous waters to cross and I don't even want to, or do I? Do I? No, no I don't…I'm sure I don't. I was confused with all the emotions going through the room and my lack of sleep. I needed to get out of there but when I tried to a look of panic crossed her face.

"Don't leave! Please don't Jake; I don't want to be alone tonight. Crash here, the floor's all yours." She jumped up and kicked aside some junk to make room on the floor. She then went to her closet and pulled out a pillow and a blanket. She threw them on the floor and gestured for me to lie down. "Please, I know I don't deserve your company after the crap I made you go through but humor me. Just stay over night so I can calm down then I'll kick you out in the morning. Deal?"

She's gone crazy. Completely insane. I thought that's what she wanted all along, to be alone. Now all of a sudden she craved company; my company above all else. We can't stand each other, or at least we couldn't. I can't tell anymore. But I could tell that I was beyond exhaustion and I wasn't gonna make it home with out passing out.

Without a word I slumped to the floor and crawled to the make shift bed, trying hard not to think about anything. Not Leah, not what might happen, not Bella, not anything. I settled down with an empty head I figured if she didn't let me leave then I could sleep a few hours and sneak out with out her noticing. Good a plan as any.

Leah maneuvered around me and as she stepped right above me my heart sped up. No! Not gonna think about anything just my breathing. She slipped back into her bed and before she turned off the light she looked at me. "Sorry about this. I know I'm the last person you want to be with," I roll my eyes, not knowing if right at that moment she was the last person I wanted to be with. She continued, "But it's nice of you for doing this. I mean it; though I might not tomorrow, so don't make me repeat this…Thank you." She quickly flipped the switch and hid under the covers.

As my eyes adjusted to the darkness I gave up trying to block my thoughts from anything; I thought about Bella and her new life without me, I thought about the pack and how I'm suppose to be this strong leader but really all I want to do is crawl in some hole and cry, and lastly I thought about Leah and her new softness towards me. I thought about how this would have never happened if I didn't see her dream and her freaking about it. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise; maybe this might dissolve the hatred that we have among us. But if I don't hate her, then how would I feel about her? I wouldn't think about then, just how much I needed sleep. Before I gave into the sweet temptation of sleep I remembered what we were discussing minutes before.

"Wait," I mumbled fighting to stay awake for a few more seconds "You never told me what the worst part was."

She groaned and waved me off. "Tell ya tomorrow, maybe."

I couldn't fight it off any longer and fell into the darkness to be embraced with the dream I saw Leah dreaming hours earlier.

* * *

_Danm, shit, fuck, crap!_- **preveiw**


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